Killers in my Dream

I don't know whether it should be nightmare or not coz it don't seem to be scary to me. In the dream, my sis and I just came out from the supermarket and went into the lift. We need to press button 'G' to go back but my sis was fooling around and press button '3' instead.

When the lift door opened, it was a dark basement parking area. There was a car waiting infront of the lift we are in. Suddenly, another few other men came running towards us. We managed to escaped to our car but they were like preying on us outside our car. There was one men took out a KNIFE and wanted to kill us coming from our car window. I pushed him and even held on the knife he's holding just to stop from being kill. I succeeded and then I woke up..

I just felt like I need to survive no matter how much pain the killer's knife had done to my hand in the dream. I am glad it was just a dream after all. Well, there's a meaning behind my dream.

Seeing a killer in your dream, suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.

I have been having this nasty feelings for the past few days. And the dream spoke all for me and yes, I really feel like I am losing my identity and I don't know really know the reality of me and yes, I am not afraid to stand up for myself once and for all.

I'll be smilling to myself again thinking that life is so funny sometimes, it twist and make u a little confussed. =)

The Changes

I have realized how much I dislike changes in people around me. I guess it's more like I can't accept the fact people changed. Well, it's how I dealed with people that I wished they can stop some kind of dislike or conflicts. I only wished for some peaceful relationship between people around me.

Girls have six sense, they easily sensed something out of the odd and I am not stupid or blurr enough not to notice if they is something odd. I really wished we could go back to the time when we just met and just being a fool to each other happily. I still remembered everything so clear and vividly but as time flies, one by one being eliminated away from us.

I just can't stop looking at this torn part of the story, so happy before yet so dramatic till it's broken. Anyway, the torn part ended already and no need to think about it. I guess that's what happen when a tornado meets a volcano when there are too many people in one group led to conflicts. When you walked towards life, this is what you get to see in different types of attitudes and personality which might even shocked you. People who are betrayal, two-faces, faker and cheaters are all around so beware of human beings! Where are the good people in your life? Looked back your old buddies, they're the only the truth and left for us coz they are the real people who we really knew and understand for so long. Real people have conflicts for some times and it's absolutely normal or else, what are real feelings made for?

Awesome Rapper

Eminem rapped about his life,

His lyric may be harsh as ever but it's all where he show his anger and emotional towards the lyric,

Everytime his new song came out, I never stop getting addiction towards his amazing lyric,

Coz I feel everything through his magical rap,

Some of his lyric can be quite a motivation when you got a fuck'd up life,

I bet he opened thousands of fans' heart out there in this universe,

He screwed up his life but he's not gonna afraid to take a stand.

Step Up 3D Fully STUNNING Robot Dance Scene!

Robot dancing by the choreographer and also a great dancer in the movie. He totally looked like robot with his skills. With his super fit body make him looked even more like Robot. Must be hard work finding all the most professional dancers to filmed this movie. It's all worthful now coz nobody hate this StepUp3D

VEVO - Step Up 3D: Behind the Moves, Pt. 1

Another STEP UP 3D trailer to shared. The movie was SUPER AWESOME which just blew my mind. They gave me motivation to live up dreams but in Brunei, it's less chances to live up dreams of dancing. All the choreographers are AMAZING and very well professionals. This is the best dancing movie I ever watched. All those EXTREME steps got me in dancing mood and MISS dancing too! How I wish I could dance my ass all night in the club. But sadly, there's no club here.

When there are competition and battles, people get stronger but sadly it also very much less chances for dancers in here. Dancing is my passion since I was a 7 years old but I didn't get the chance to learn until I transfered to CHMS. I started learning the basics moves from dancing class and having performances. I miss those moments being with my friends dancing and learning hard but never giving up coz we all felt the same way for dancing. We felt totally joyful when we danced, it's like all your stress are off your mind and you be yourself.

Nobody understands our feelings, only true dancers does. To think that some parents disagree their children to dance is such a burden coz they don't understand their feelings towards dancing. It's part of a game, a life routine, a place to let go your stress and be yourself. I still can't believe highschool just ended and we have no chances of dancing together already. Some of us are going in different parts of ways to get good qualifications and achieved their dreams for future but we will never forget the dancing moments we had. It's all part of the greatest passion in life, so powerful and strong that it lifted your confidence up and falling in love with the stage. Dancers out there, do not give up on yourself coz it will be worth it in the end!!

Here are some meaningful quotes to get motivation for dancing :

DANCERS ARE NOT GOOD BECAUSE OF THEIR TECHNIQUE, THEY ARE GREAT BECAUSE OF THEIR PASSION.

LIFE ISN'T ABT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS, IT'S LEARNING TO DANCE ON THE RAIN.

NO MATTER HOW TOUGH IT GETS, JUST REMEMBER THAT KNOWING YOUR WEAKNESS DOESN'T MAKE YOU WEAK, IT MAKE YOU WISE.

GUIDANCE, "G" stood for GOD, followed by "U" and "I" which means God,U n I,dance

Jason Chen's "Love the Way You Lie/Not Afraid" mash-up:

This is my first time upload video here and I am glad I did it successfully for once! Now all we got to do is ENJOY and LISTEN to this Music video by Jason Chen.

The songs of 'love the way you lie' and 'Afraid' both are originally from Eminem and my TOP FAVOURITE SONGS. Jason chen created the songs in his own style and lyrics changes which is quite amazing and compatible.

A moment like This

Let me tell you a boy who changed my life,

He came into my life when I was just 16 years old. I was depressed for that year coz I lost everyone and nobody was there for me during my worst state. I was always in despaired and hence I made more people went out of my life. I went through the worst stage of my life that I don’t have anyone to share my burden and grief. Days went by and still grief was inside me trying to escape from my lungs. Eventually I seek social life outside school and made new friends but it didn’t helped much.

Months passed by, I met this guy that happened to lived in the same area as me. We became friends and stay in contact every 24/7. Texted from morning till night falls with him. We often chat on the phone too. He was something special coz I was brave enough to face and told him all my burdens and immediately he consulted me so well and very precise. Hearing his consults to my problems began to heal my inner side.

He was the one that made me stand up and find back myself again, not be afraid to move on. Just appreciate and learnt to live your life happily and positive people will eventually come into your life. We taught each other so many things in these 4 years and still staying tight even when we met through storms and after the Rain, we are still loving as ever.

HAPPY 4TH YEARS ANNIVERSARY, 22 SEPTEMBER 2010

Flying kiss to you. MUAKS!
Enjoy the photos of the day~ =))

MeaningLess

My Raya Holidays just ended so quickly and meaningless. I am unsatisfied with this short holiday. I wished I could drive myself back to my hometown and meet the girls. Living so far away from civilization is what I hate the most. Distance is the BIGGEST PROBLEM, I have my license but yet not allowing to use it alone coz I am very much not experience yet.

In fact, today I am just feeling so bad mood. I’ll be going back to Bandar tonight and going to miss going to CHMS Moon day festival function later due to nobody bring me. It sucks a lot for this whole holiday! It’s just not satisfying enough and I hate it so much. Sometimes, I go mad and crazy if I am facing the same old routine every day. I am one of the people who need excitement as often as possible. One week without excitement make my mood down.

Anyway, I met a stranger cat during this holiday when I am alone at home. He came to me for foods so I feed him. I am not sure whether he’s a stray but he’s always around my area and being a friendly accompany couldn’t be so bad for me.

He's so adorable..looked like TONI! (Firah's cat)

My first impression on him! I always see him in this pattern whenever the female cat is near. If he's my cat, I will called him Tiger Woods coz he's always mating.

Gained Weight

Enjoy your meal, Poh..I mean Pooh.HEHE!

People who always said that I am way too skinny before noticed that I have grown a little fatter. Not that I am plump but just not skinny anymore, more meat on my body. I guess it’s all because of my age getting older, my body and hormones started to change to adult parts. That’s why I am getting some fat ass, thigh and a little tummy. I only hate the tummy part. Here are some pictures to proof you guys how I was BEFORE & AFTER. Before I am damn skinny which I hate it so much and the after photo refer to the recent fat ass ME.

The BEFORE & AFTER of my hard work in gaining weight

BEFORE IN YEAR 2009..the skinny me which I HATE! I was a 39-40kg

RECENT YEAR 2010. I finally gained some REAL WEIGHT!! Now I am a 43-44kg =D

See the difference of my body...? from face to body and to thigh and ass is all extra fats now~

Here are some STEPS that can make you gain weight :

1. Do not miss your breakfast every morning!

2. Eat at least 5 meals a day - Breakfast, Lunch, Tea time, Dinner and Supper. Effective!

3. Eat something light whenever you start to feel hungry, Do not make yourself STARVE

4. Drink milk if you're lazy to eat during supper hour

5. Make sure you don't sleep when you're still full coz it will just create tummy

Don't be afraid to eat up all those beautiful foods left for you. Eat them UP! =9

Demotivated

I started studying lately coz I know when Raya is over, assignments will be given out and we won’t be having much time to study too. I tried doing my financial management homework which are all calculations I hate the most. PFFTT! It’s actually quite easy but I was stuck and not knowing how to do after few minutes.

Anyway, I admitted my studies aren’t very good but I loved arts and design instead. How I wish Brunei got some high quality design-learning college or university. But there are not much opportunities of design jobs available here so I just choose business instead. I still have interest in ARTS and sometimes I don’t know why I ALWAYS started drawing when I can’t figure out how to do calculation problems. That night, I tried doing my financial management by myself but end up drawing.

I don’t know what is this yellow object, maybe some kind of massager coz it contain batteries. It doesn’t belong to me so I don’t know. It just looked like an UFO to me and it was just beside me when I was doing my work so I started to draw.

drawing this STILL LIFE yellow object..Looks easy to start with rather than doing homework

Look at my question paper and answer paper is a HUGE piece of drawing and a little upper part is the calculation! Demotivated! I miss ART..but wrong timing to MISS it!

Cousin Issues

Gone visited my cousin that came back from Canada. It was great to have family gathering once in awhile although it kind of boring to me as all elderly were chatting and the youngsters just sit there and kept eating all the foods they offered. My little cousin, Katherine by the age of 15 years old looked a little older than me. Although we were cousins but our relationship wasn’t close, we just smiled and said hey to each other and that’s it. I can see the effort that her dad tried to make us talk by telling Katherine to get her I-Touch to show us some of her horse riding pictures but it didn’t helped us talked much too. She was quiet with us coz she didn’t know us well. Her dad told me grandma got 12 grandchildren. That’s a lot!

a photo of Katherine when she was young..the horse so ADORABLE!

all my uncles and aunts' married photos includin family photos. very CLASSIC WALL!

I am not close with any of my young cousins and I really wished I have one. I always see people having close cousins in their family seem so much fun and loving. But I used to have one closest cousin of the same age as me when I was young. We lived next to each other house and we went cycling, played and just spending time together. But when we grew up, our relationship grew apart till now. I haven’t seen her for ages after she finished high school.

Innocent dog, very cute at cousin's house

Another puppy which looked fierce and guard the house

I guess it’s meant to be that I don’t have any close relationship cousins since we were all far apart. Sometimes I do feel a little lonely inside but at least I am not lonely outside this family field. That’s also the reason why my friends are important to me coz they’re like sisters to me and they never failed to make me feel part of their love especially my best friend. Sometimes I feel like I am treating her like a sister and someone that I cared. I might not know how to be a good sister but I know how to be a good friend to accompany and talk to. Coz I talked with emotions and action, sometimes without notice giving them entertainment.

Here's a classic picture for today's topic