Complaints

March have been dreadful and known as the worst month for me this year. Nothing seems to go right when I was in Bandar last week, I experienced food poison which make me sick and lost my appetite. When I’m healed and just starting to have a little appetite, my jaw dislocated and was admitted to hospital. There I was told not to eat solid foods that are chewable instead I have to drink porridge and watery foods. I still can’t believe this is happening to me. I’m currently at home wrapped in head bandaged and swallowing foods that should not be chew or my jaw will dislocate again. I’m so fucked up with all this shits and routines!!!!!

Drinking Cereal with Milk, no more solid foods

I’m frustrated when the head bandage keep slipping forward and covering my eyes and slipping my spectacle. I have to fix it every hour when it starts slipping and especially when I woke up from bed. I am so fucked up that I can’t even smile or laugh coz it tighten the face muscle and make my jaw pain. When I’m out in supermarkets and restaurants places, some people keep giving me weird look at me because of the head bandage cover around my head. I’m seriously frustrated due to this uneasy routine I have to force myself into. This is a total disaster for me right now.

April, please treat me better coz I need some lucks P.S GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!

Pray for the World

It’s devastating to received news of the massive earthquake and tsunami followed by the nuclear explosion. There are always reasons for the cause of natural disasters but sometimes I wonder whether the world is able to handle these disasters any longer. Every disasters struck have been fatal.

There are many people who are still lost and still deciding which direction they should seek salvation. Here are some important verses from bible that will explain everything. The verses explained in subtle ways and you will understand it’s actually related to what is happening currently in our world. The truth is from the the Lord and we should have faith to believe him.

Luke 21: 7-9

“Teacher,” they asked, “ When will these things happen? And what will be the sign that they are about to take place?” He replied: “Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he, ‘ and ‘The time is near.’ Do not follow them. When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. These things must happen first but the end will come right away.”

Explaination - The Teacher refers to Jesus Christ, he is teaching his people about the signs of the end of the age. Jesus mentioned, ‘the time is near’ in the bible and actually it is currently here in our world. There are many people worshipping evils which claimed to be ‘I am he.’ We have to choose the right path to God, the one that leads the truth, not lie. Pray to God and ask for forgiveness to wash away your sins as you are his children. He will protect you with his Holy power and bless us. There are false prophets and false teachings occurring in our world and we ought to be careful of antichrist revealing.

Luke 21: 25-28

There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for heavenly bodies will be shaken. At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.

Explanation: - As you can see, it’s obviously the natural disasters that have been going on in many countries. Tossing of the sea referring to the tsunami that hit many places. There are always reason why they're being punished that way. It’s sad to see many sinners are increasing, more killings, robbery, abuse, antichrist and a lot more that I see in news nowadays. But the world is passing away soon as the bible had repeated the time is near. If you need to seek salvation from God, be committed for you will be bless and going to the Kingdom of God for eternity.

EVEN SO, WHEN YOU SEE THESE THINGS HAPPENING, YOU KNOW THAT THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS NEAR. LUKE 21: 31

Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.

My Biggest Nightmare

My biggest tragedy struck me few days ago. I remembered it so clearly I was alright at home after having a long nap. I woke up and ate my last slice of birthday cake and was ready to go for dinner with baby that night. As I prepared myself, I felt terribly wrong on my neck. I couldn’t control the way it move. I was shaking and scared. Then when baby picked me, I started crying coz my neck can’t be control anymore but it got worse. My mouth started to bend to the left by itself, I couldn’t control it too. I force it to move back to its position but it doesn’t help, I was in great pain. I was restless and sobbing, covering my mouth in pain. The jaw was not in its usual shape and that caused unbearable pain.

There was no choice but immediately sent to the emergency in Ripas. By the time I got there, I couldn’t even talk properly already but I managed to explain to the doctor. The doc used his fingers put inside my mouth and press my jaw so tightly and with great force to move it back to shape again. I was relieved my jaw dislocation was moved back to normal. But after few minutes, it dislocated AGAIN and the doc was gone for awhile leaving me in the emergency room. I roll and sobbed on the bed, praying to God to save this pain I’m suffering. Finally, another doctor came and saved me. At that moment, right after the doc put back my jaw in shape.

Immediately, she press tightly on my jaw and wrapped my face in bandage. To be surely that I don’t experience dislocation when I’m home, I was admitted to the ward where I suffered twice painful jaw dislocation again when the bandage came off. I was not allowed to talk, open, smile, laugh with my mouth for that whole night and day. I troubled myself worrying I am going to lose weight coz I was not allowed to chew or bite foods for this one month. I just can drink. I am getting better now but I don’t know when will I be fully recovered.

For now, I just feel pretty bad coz I can’t even brush my teeth properly as I can’t open widely and freely. I lost part of my freedom temporary and I want to wake up from this nightmare to see everything BACK TO NORMAL, please.

I know Life is not perfect at all. There are times we need to appreciated our own life coz you never know what will happen to you when nightmare comes knocking at your door. We need to be strong to faced everything in this world, even how bad it goes. Life still go on . . . .

In the emergency room

Sad =(

FckiN' Perfect 21th Bday Party

Acted 'Young' on the night I turned 21!!

My 21th birthday party was amazing, fun and get me all WET to the max! I know at the age of 21 is suppose to be entering the adulthood but it doesn’t means that the celebration must be very adult-like. In fact, the celebration was so young and fun coz we rented a Titanic Fun Slide bouncer. We splashed, jumped, slide, kicked, pouring water, throwing water balloons for the whole day for my party at bestie’s house. I am so thankful that Bestie was allowed to borrow her place for making my party a big hit and success. Her gift for me at 12am sharp was so meaningful coz I never receive anyone making a craft of a huge board with our photos made by her. Lovely indeed!

Baby helping so much with the party to happen successfully also touched my heart instantly as you know it’s not easy, he worked so hard for my party and he deserved my love. My Pitbull sista gave me the most simple yet touching greeting card. Seriously I loved it coz I adored it when you wrote it out from the bottom of your heart, I will never throw it away. Sometimes the most simple and little things can drive you crazy and happy coz it contains so much meaning and loves there.

I wanna thanks everyone that attended my party and making my birthday party a total memorable one. LIFE IS FUCKING GOOD!!

TITANIC GIANT POOL SLIDE!!

Girls will always be girls! Scared TTM

Whooootss!!! NICE SHOT!

Boys will always be boys! They got mind full of creative ways to get HEAD BANG!

Threesome down the pool

Sometimes, it’s hard to leave all your childhood memories and people behind coz being a child is so much greater, innocent and pure. I love my childhood as much as I currently loved myself. We have to learn to love ourselves before loving others. If you can’t even learn to love your own body and soul then how can people enter your life knowing that you’re lack of love for yourself.

TALKING BAH!!

We did not plan on wearing couple shirt but end up we got the same thing in mind when the party started. Loves!

Since I am already a ‘Big Girl,’ but my heart will stay young and cheerful as always. In fact, I really hope I stay the way I am now. Being an adult doesn’t mean you have to act even more serious in your personalities and be cooler. Even how much you changed, there will always be an inner child in you. But entering this age also means you need to have options and directions in life. There are things in life that we have to sacrifice away to achieve another option which is also part of the stressful thoughts to deal with.

But life still goes on!! So better enjoy all the OPTIONS and CHOICES before it slips out of your hand!

Bully is Bullshit

I bet everyone have names being called which annoyed you way back when you were young in elementary school moments. Well, I was being called the skinny, stupid girl. Calling me stupid seriously made me boiled like a mad woman. I only got furious when people called me stupid for real. If they’re joking then it doesn’t hit me at all. Maybe due to the fact that I was always the girl that sucks in studying, being the worst in math subject every year’s class and getting the lowest marks. It makes me felt so negative and furious that I remembered I pushed all the anger to a girl that kept bossing around and treating me like bullshit just because she was the best student in my class. I taught her a lesson and let her get hit for once. Anger can’t be judge when you’re really pissed. Ever since that day, she stopped.

Don’t let words treated you or made you felt depress coz people that bullied are trying to make themselves looked tough and not weak. But deep down, they have been bullied in the past. Just like the way they choose their targets and bullied them. Let’s make the world a better place, bullying does not help but created burdens that changed a kid’s view in life. Think how much you have changed a fragile heart of a child, how terribly bad you have done to her childhood memories. You ought to feel ashamed of it.

Don’t worry about people from the past, there is a reason why they didn’t make it to the future.

We always wanted our life to be easy but think again,

if life is easy then we wouldn’t learn anything,

If life is easy, we won’t change and grow up.